As we wait for the baby, it looks like I will make it to December! Which is a good thing because that's kind of what I told the school to plan on - count me out for the month of December.
However, I have been thinking about ways to have a baby that wouldn't be any more weird than the current method -
1. Lay an egg like a bird: Lay an egg and carry it around for 9 months to incubate it. Wait for it to hatch.
2. Sneeze: Do you have a tissue? I just had a baby.
3. Vomit: Oooh... I don't feel so good...
"My baby was born covered in Spaghettio's - it was gross!"
"Yeah, well mine was covered in popcorn and chocolate pudding - and he was stuck in my throat for 10 hours before I could gag him out."
4. Belly button drawstring: I think it would be awesome if your belly button was just cinched closed with a drawstring. When your belly gets big enough, you just loosen the drawstring, open up the belly and pull the baby out.
5. Athena style: In Greek mythology, Zeus complains about a huge headache. He has Hephaestus take an axe to his head and split it open - revealing a fully grown and armored Athena.
Also - what if you grew a baby in your butt? I mean - it's not any weirder than growing one in your belly. Wouldn't it be weird if people's butts just got bigger and bigger until they had their baby. You really could NEVER ask someone if they were pregnant.
Anyway. I'm sure I'm going to have to settle for the good old-fashioned way. I just think it's weird.
2 comments:
I think you're weird.
I agree with Mom. Although I have thought it would be nice if they could just install a zipper for future c-sections.
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