So in addition to my job at D---'s, I have a job at Subway. I enjoy working at Subway because there's generally no customer complaining because they watch you make their food right in front of them. "And oil and vinegar. More vinegar. Uhm... can I have just a little more vinegar?"

The most entertaining days we have are when we amuse ourselves and mess with the customers. The other day the owner worked next to me during lunch (we make a kind of assembly line) and sang all of the vegetables as he put them on each sandwich. It's a fun Subway to come to, let me tell you.

But anyways. The other day I had to work the cash register. There's practically no one in the store, and this little old lady shuffles in and makes her way to the register. Mind you, you're supposed to begin ordering your sandwich at the other end of the counter where the sign hanging above it reads "place order here." People seem to miss the sign a lot. And by people, I mean mostly little old ladies. So she comes up holding a card, and tells me she wants two foot long sandwiches and she wants to get one free. Well don't we all want to get free food. So she shows me the card, which is just a business card that tells what our special is for the day. Subway has a special every day where the 6" version of that day's sandwich is only $2.99 -- $3.17 with tax. Every day is a different sandwich. So I tell her that she doesn't really have a coupon, she just has an ad that tells what today's special is. And she insists that she wants two foot long sandwiches and she wants one free. So I tell her again that what she keeps trying to show me is not a coupon, but an ad. She keeps telling me, like I'M the one that's not understanding, that she wants TWO foot long sandwiches, and with the card, she gets one free! I realized that at this point I had just stopped and stared at her because I couldn't believe we were still having this conversation. So the kid I work with comes over, noticing that I'm about finished trying to get through to this customer, and asks what's up. She explains to him the foot long deal, and he takes her down to the other end of the counter and serves up the sandwiches. He tells her they aren't $2.99 and she won't get one free. She orders anyway. He makes her sandwiches exactly as she would like, he wraps them up, passes them down to me, and I present them to her at the cash register. I ring up the two foot long sandwiches and it comes to something like $13. Which she pays. Phew, she's finally leaving. I give her her change, and then I realize she's not leaving.
She says " I was supposed to get one of those free."
"No -- because you didn't have a coupon."
"Well my husband came in and ordered two foot long sandwiches and he got one free!"
"He must have had a coupon."
"Yes -- he had this!" (proceeds to show me the special-of-the-day card)
"No, that's not a coupon."
"Oh... So did I get today's special?"
"No, because you didn't order that sandwich, and you ordered foot long sandwiches."
"Well what is the special?"
"It's only good for a 6" sandwich."
"Aren't foot longs just 2 6" sandwiches?"
"Yes."
"So why didn't I get the special?!"
"Because it was cheaper to charge you for one foot long sandwich instead of 2 6" specials." (BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN ORDER THE RIGHT SANDWICH TO GET TODAY'S SPECIAL!)
This is the point where she looks at me like I'm stupid, makes the old lady face that says -- kids these days -- and waves her hand at me in the old lady way that says -- you're not making any sense and I'm done trying to get through to you. And walks out the door.

I stifle a laugh as I look up at the mid-twenties aged guys who were standing in line behind her watching this whole conversation play out, who are also trying not to laugh, and say "Hi! What kind of sandwich are you having today?"